Loose lips, sink ships.

Hello, 2012.

17 January 2012, @ 1:45 PM

Things have changed so much within the past few months. I'm so worn out; the fine lines under my eyes are more prominent than ever. Just around the same time last year, I was having the time of my life. No worries, no responsibility. It was just me and my girlfriends, enjoying the nights away. Now things have changed. I can feel the weight of the responsibility on my shoulders, the pressure building slowly.

I'm so exhausted, I don't think even the term 'exhaustion' fully encompasses how I feel. I know it'll all pay off in the end, so I'm trying to look forward to the future that lies ahead. I've been falling ill a lot recently, and it's pretty depressing. The doctors seem to be clueless on what is wrong with me. Brilliant, isn't it? I now have blue-black marks on my arms, and my veins seem to have turned black, after all the tests, intravenous antibiotics and nights in hospital. Nightmare, I tell you.

On to other things. A few months before, I finally decided to forgive a certain someone in my life, for all the things he put me through. It's a big deal, considering the fact that I had ignored him completely the first time he contacted me in the mid of last year. I've grown strong as a person and I'm no more the soft-hearted girl that people once knew me to be.

I know what I want and what I need. I have my future planned, and no matter what the obstacles are, I will move forward to my goal. There are, of course, many more things to learn, many issues that need to be addressed.

I don't regret forgiving the boy because for the first time, he proved that he truly has changed. It's been almost 6 months now and he has been nothing but supportive, and caring. I have to say the tables had turned, and I was making more mistakes than ever. I've done quite a few things I'm not proud of. But he would always be there, even if it meant turning up at a random place at 3am in the morning to look for me just to make sure I'm safe. Or even getting screwed up by a bunch of idiots because of me, just to protect me. Hurt him many times but he never gave up on me, and because of him, I've changed for the better. It's really sweet of him, and I'm glad to have him back.

My friends have been great; my family has been supportive of me. Studying and working at the same time is a complete nightmare. I truly admire the others who have gotten the hang of it. Sleepless nights, the constant worrying, the dark eyed circles that seem to be deeply etched in my skin.. I'd rather not even think about it. My illness seems to have gotten the best of me, I'm so far behind in school now and it's really depressing me. I no longer have time for myself.

Well it doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you do not stop. Right? So I'll take things day by day, and I hope to be back on track in time. I just pray to get better soon. I'm going to start reading to pass my time now. I finally had the time to update since I'm on medical leave today.

Bad lighting, and two very tired people. (Look at those eye bags!)

Love, me :)

♥